Friday, May 6, 2011

From A - T...and that's the problem

This country is fraught with a host of medical problems, both physical and mental. From AIDS to Zygomycosis, and from Adjustment Disorders to Tourette's...HEY! Wait a minute! Psychological disorders don't go to “Z.” The reason I suspect that psychological disorders stop well before “Z,” is because of a collective problem that is experienced in this country: A.A.D.D., or American Attention Deficit Disorder.

Collectively, people in this country seem to have the attention and retention span of a four-year- old that has had several of those old Pixie Sticks in the giant plastic straw (not the wimpy paper ones), and has poured them into a truck stop dinner's coffee, before chugging the concoction down. We remember little about what happened only a short time ago, and seem content to chase the next shiny object that floats in front of us.

Case in point: The Arizona shootings earlier this year. A true whack-job walks into a political function, opens fire on the crowd, and hits nineteen people, killing six. In the aftermath, this country (briefly) realized that the partisan political bickering may have reached too caustic a level, and individuals from both sides of the political aisle vowed to tone down the rhetoric.

It lasted for about a month.

What? Too far back for you to remember that one clearly?

Let's try this: Two months ago an 8.9 earthquake struck Japan. The carnage was massive. A nuclear power plant was severely damaged in the quake and nuclear radiation levels attributed to the Fukshima Plant have risen globally.

Do you still wonder how that whole story is going?

What? Too far away? Still too far back in time?

Okay fine. Let's try yesterday: May 5th. Cinco De Mayo. This country that was founded largely by immigrants, has seen fit to take the stand that we don't like immigrants (unless you're Native American, the logic is truly dizzying on this). Prejudices against immigrants in this country might as well be officially recognized as a national pastime. We have loathed so many cultures and races over the years that it is hard to keep track of who we actually like. Chinese, Irish, Italians, French, Germans, and Poles, are just a few that have been ridiculed and persecuted.

Currently our xenophobic problem is with Mexicans. Actually to be more accurate it is with anyone from anywhere South of our border (Guatemala, Panama, etc., we just see them as Mexicans anyways). The exception to our rule came yesterday. Just like when everyone is Irish on St. Paddy's Day, everyone yesterday seemed to be caught up in the festive activity surrounding the Mexican Army's victory over the French.

I don't condone nationalistic prejudices; however, if you are going to be a narrow-minded idiot, I do think you should at least try to do it well. I have a suggestion for cultures around the world that Americans seem to have a problem with: Find a holiday of yours that allows Americans to either eat or drink (or both), and we'll at least leave you alone one day out of the year. Until that day comes, just keep supplying the majority here with Ritalin.

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